Fast Food Fun Lance drove to a local fast food restaurant called McDonald's. He decided to apply for a job just for fun and walked in. He asked to see the manager and a short wimpy man walked up. "We can hire you, but are you capable of operating the equipment?" the manager asked Lance. "What equipment?" "Like the deep fat frier we use to make french fries." "Heh heh!" Lance laughed. He jumped over the counter, grabbed the man and stuck him face first into the burning hot oil. He held him there for a few minutes as other employees tried to attack Lance but were deflected by his shield. He finally pulled the man out of the grease and his face was completely cooked. "Golden brown, just the way I like it." Lance joked as he rammed an ice pick into the man's temple. Suddenly one of the employees began yelling obscenities at him in Spanish. Lance easily comprehended the insults since he speaks and understands over 500 different languages. "What the fuck did you say??" he screamed. Lance grabbed the man and put his hands onto the grill. He yelled out in burning agony and his skin simply peeled off. Lance then punched him in the kidneys rupturing them. More workers attempted to assault Lance so he destroyed them with his acid tipped ninja sword. Once everyone was dead he pretended to be an employee and walked up to the counter. Some customers said they wanted a Big Mac. "What the fuck is a Big Mac?" Lance said. "Are you stupid, everyone knows what a Big Mac is." "WHAT!!!!" screamed the enraged Lance. He leapt over the counter and grabbed the mother fucker by the throat. A quick twist and he was dead. The man's fiance, some sexy blonde, screamed in horror and shock. She began shaking her man trying to revive him. "He's dead, bitch, and so are you." Lance grabbed her hair, and plunged his Defender hunting knife into her back and between her ribs until it protruded from her left breast. She remained alive so he yanked it out and slit her throat. He laughed as she suffered horribly and died in disgrace, blood pumping out of the massive gash. He walked out of the fast food place, jumped back into his car, and drove away.